Scream Awards? More Like “What a Freakin’ Joke” Awards

Nice work, guy

You read that right.

True, they honored George A. Romero and Eli Roth was there, and I know it’s not solely a horror movie award show, so don’t even start with that.  They say fantasy, sci-fi, comics AND horror, but they forgot to add BULLSHIT to the end of that description.

I get that it’s not a “legitimate” award show, since they decided it’d be a good idea to honor this guy and the audience consisted primarily of folks who look like the ultra-creative dude to the left, but go ahead and read on for my primary grievances.

Transformers & Twilight


Twilight beat out Harry Potter, Coraline, Up, and Watchmen for Best Fantasy Movie. BEST?! Seriously? I get that it’s a wildly popular franchise, because a lot of women with disposable income have poor self-esteem and have to live vicariously through a couple scrawny, awkward, pasty 20-something-teenagers who whine & make out on camera, but if it won because it’s the most popular than it should be “Favorite Fantasy Movie”.

Transformers thankfully didn’t win Best Sci-Fi Movie, but it won in a lot of other categories including Megan Fox as best actress. Having toe-thumbs and a tight ass don’t make you a good actress. But since Kristen “Stinkface” Stewart won her category, too, it gives me hope that my untrained, untalented ass could win big if I ever decided to act, especially if I decide to pretend to or actually  sleep with a stinky British dude.

Sam Raimi & Bruce Campbell BOTH Lost

What kind of God-awful world are we living in that these folks can’t win a freakin’ Scream award?

(L-R) Sam Raimi, Evil Ash, Good Ash

Spike TV, if you hadn’t honored George A. Romero & had Eli Roth & Quentin Tarantino on the show, I’d quit you all together. But you’re on notice.

[picapp src=”c/7/0/c/Drag_Me_To_09b8.jpg?adImageId=7016045&imageId=4834845″ width=”234″ height=”351″ /]

Don’t let that shit happen again.

P.S. I borrowed some of the pictures from here. Go ahead and click and see other winners/losers.


~ by Mergan Fierce on October 30, 2009.

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