VIP Celebrity Death Proof Preservation Chamber

Due to the rash of celebrity deaths that have happened as of late, there has been talk on Twitter amongst my blogtastic associates about constructing a death-proof celebrity safe-haven. Entry would be by invitation only.

These are the folks I would throw in the preservation chamber:

Betty Freakin White

Betty Freakin' White

Who:

Betty White

Claim to Fame:

Ditzy Rose Nylund from the Golden Girls and a variety of subsequent game shows from the 1950s to the 1980s. She’s also a 5-time Emmy winner.

Why:

Because she’s Betty Freakin’ White, dumbass.
She’s 87 years old and she’s still going strong. She guest-started on My Name Is Earl this year as the Crazy Witch Lady and has been nominated for yet another Emmy.

Sophia Loren

Sophia Loren

Who:

Sophia Loren

Claim to Fame:

She’s a major, major international sex-symbol. 74 years old and still totally hittable.

Why:

She’s the epitome of sexy. Seriously, do you see that picture? I’m not even into chicks and I’d hit that.

Bruce Campbell

Bruce Campbell

Who:

Bruce Campbell

Claim to Fame:

Bruce has been in a slew of B-movies, most notably, Ash from the Evil Dead series written & directed by the Raimi brothers and Bubba Ho-Tep. He’s also been in all three Spiderman movies (again, Raimi creations). He was the guy in the Old Spice commercials singing “Hungry Like The Wolf“, etc. Most recently, he’s been the mojito-swilling man after my own heart, Sam Axe in Burn Notice on USA.

Why:

He seems like he’s got a pretty good sense of humor considering roles he usually takes. Also, while he may not be in the shape he was when he played Ash, he’s still pretty foxy.

Ken Griffey Jr

Ken Griffey Jr

Who:

Ken Griffey Jr.

Claim to Fame:

Major league baseball player who has played for the Mariners and some other team that doesn’t really matter.

Why:

He’s a great player and hasn’t been embroilled in any controversy, with the exception of his temporary departure from the M’s. Luckily for Seattle fans, like myself, he’s back. He’s only the DH and not doing any kind of fielding, but he’s still awesome. He’s one of the few role models young athletes have these days who aren’t doping themselves to the point where they look like this guy posing with Kathy Griffin & TI.

Those are the few I’ve come up with and have had the time to post about.

If you’ve got any suggestions, leave them in the comments.

UPDATE:


Dick Van Dyke

Who:

Dick Van Dyke.

Claim to Fame:

He’s a Hollywood legend. He was the star of the Dick Van Dyke show and the wonderful, dancing chimney sweep, Bert in the 1964 classic Mary Poppins. He was 39 when that movie came out and 45 years later, he’s still going.

Why:

He’s charming and endearing. He’s a good singer and a pretty snazzy dancer, check out the video above. I’m partial to his outfit in that dance, because I think his jacket makes him look like an old-timey box of popcorn. He’s a wonderful, lovely man who is a Hollywood icon. He’s a legend and that’s why he belongs in my chamber. Long(er) live DICK VAN DYKE!

Latest Addition:

Garth Brooks

He is Maverick & Goose put together

He is both Maverick & Goose

I used to listen to the SHIT out of Garth Brooks. I’m not into very much country, but this guy is the ultimate entertainer. He’s coming out of retirement to do a string of shows at the Wynn in Las Vegas and I could not be more excited.

In addition, he wears badass shirts like this:

Fashion Icon

Fashion Icon

He is also Chris Gaines and played for the Mets at some point in the early 2000’s. That obviously didn’t last, but he did manage to finagle number one. Because Garth Brook is number fucking one!

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~ by Mergan Fierce on July 21, 2009.

2 Responses to “VIP Celebrity Death Proof Preservation Chamber”

  1. Love. IT. I agree with all these choices.

  2. That’s the best picture of Betty White ever.

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