Who The Fuck Cares + 8

Dear World,
I do not give a shit about these two people:

I don’t. I fucking don’t. I love the show, mostly because the kids are so adorable. I love little kids. They’re hilarious and haven’t been ruined by life yet. These two cuntbag-twatwaffles can go fuck themselves.

First, “Kate is such a bitch!” Yeah. She is, but you’d be too if you had to keep tabs on 8 kids.

Second, “Jon cheats on Kate, but it’s ok, because she’s such a bitch.” No. It’s not ok. There is no reason cheating on your wife is ever ok. Not even to cure cancer.

Third, “She cheated on him back! What a bitch!” Ok, got it, she’s a bitch. Next?

Fourth, “She’s got bad hair.” Ok. We agree on this.

Fifth: “She’s a terrible mother and needs to be thrown in prison forever!”

Ok, that was a pretty shitty thing to do. I’d be ticked if I was Maddy, too. But in some magazine interview that I don’t care to look up, Jon said that Maddy’s the most like Kate, which would make her the cuntiest out of all the kids, so she probably had that coming.*
*= Yes. I just called an 8 year old cunty and I said she deserves her neglect. Go right on ahead and bitch all you want, because I don’t care. If you take everything you read on the internet seriously, you should be embarrassed.

Anyone who has dealt with kids for more than a minute and a half knows that they’re dramatic. “I haven’t had a drink all day!” and the comment about dehydration are two prime examples of said drama. I get she’s thirsty. I get Kate’s a bitch and probably should’ve gotten a water for Maddy, too, but those segments they air on shows like that are usually 5 minutes, tops. Unless she was about to piss her underoos, it’s not a fucking emergency. So chill the fuck out, media. A mega-bitch Kate Gosselin may be, an irresponsible horrible mother she is not.

And to all of you who talk about how they’re “whoring the kids out for some cash”… riddle me this: how would you support a family of 10? Jon has (or had) a real job at one point, but do you really think that a typical single-income family could afford to take care of 8 kids? Keep in mind that there were six of them in diapers at the same time, they have medical expenses, they have to eat, they had a mortgage to pay plus whatever other bills they had, and they have to keep the kids’ future in mind. Assuming they go, how are the kids supposed to pay for college?

To those of you who say they’ve gone Hollywood with teeth whitening and they dress differently now. You’ve got to be joking, right? You’ve got to be fucking kidding. Do you wear the same things you did 8 years ago? Do you have the same hair style? Parents, do you occasionally do things for yourself? Moms, do you get your nails done? How about haircuts, do you folks get haircuts?

What I’m trying to say with more words than I should’ve used is this:

Stop worrying about what these people are doing. Quit picking them apart because you’ve got nothing else better in your lives to do. Seriously. What happens with them and their children is not going to affect your day-to-day, unless you actually deal with these people personally on a daily basis.

And TLC, I have a way better show for you to air. It’s called “8”. It’s super simple & cheap. Just show a slide show of the kids for 30 minutes. Spice it up occasionally with funny little things the kids say. Ratings goldmine.

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~ by Mergan Fierce on June 12, 2009.

One Response to “Who The Fuck Cares + 8”

  1. If only TLC would take your sage advice.

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